Human are good at planning, yet God is the Provider

Today was quite a bad day for me as I received the news that my proposal defense is postponed due to the inability of the examiner in attending the session this 23rd Sept. I thought I can present earlier than the date I booked for the actual presentation, which I booked on 30 September. However, thinking of wanting to present earlier, I then called the Graduate Office to make the arrangement. Now, I'm not sure whether my main supervisor and the committee are able to make it or not on 4October. Latest info. both the chairperson and examiner will only be avaiilable on 8th Oct. Hope committee members are also free on that day. Human beings are good at planning things, but Allah is the one who determine whether or not our wish can become a reality or otherwise. I realised that this could be due to my wrong doings of so many things. Ya Allah, please forgive me for I couldn't run away from making mistakes. Here's a poem as a lesson from today's event when I browsed the word "La Takhaf wa la tahzan". Taken from http://www.mail-archive.com/sobat-azzam@yahoogroups.com/msg00661.html. It's a very nice poem and really reflects what I'm feeling at the moment.

La Takhaf wa la tahzan...

Jika ini ketentuanMu,
ku coba tabahkan hatiku,
karena pasti tersirat sesuatu di balik yang tersurat itu...
karena ku manusia biasa,
tidak terdaya memikirkan apakah hikmahnya...
apakah rahsianya..
hidup ini terus berputar,
tiada masa untuk lengah,
tiada masa untuk patah,

ku kuatkan hati yang serapuh kaca ini,
ku salutkan bersama doa tulus suci,
karena doa itu tersimpan satu kekuatanku,
kekuatan dari yang Empunya segalanya...

dan pastinya dunia bukan milikku sendiri,
untukku atur segalanya,
karena yang takdir itu mengatasi tadbir...
tadbir dari manusia yang lemah,
takdir dari Tuhan Yang Maha Mencipta,

ku simpan segala pahit dan duka,
dalam surat kehidupan ini,
yang penuh sirat pengajaran...

di sebalik yang terjadi
pasti ada yang terjanji
termateri sesuatu yang pasti
jika kau ridho ketentuan Ilahi...

The above story didn't end there. The day after writing this post, I was scolded by my supervisor via phone call telling me that I was the only student that had this kind of problem. The SV didn't have such a problem handling other students. I felt that the SV wanted to say that I'm a problematic std. In the conversation, I proposed to the SV to arrange for sthe presentation some other day. The SV refused to hear anything on the changes of date. The SV wanted to talk to the personnel in the Graduate Office only and warned me that things would be bad when it happens. I cried after I hang up the phone. I called the personnel right after that, though I knew she was off from work that day. She said she'll tell me on the date when she gets back to work (meaning today, Thursday 23 Sept). Now, I'm waiting for her call. I don't really expect anything good to happen at the current moment. What I mean I might not be presenting my proposal at the nearest time. Only Allah knows when...